Even though you may have been searching for an answer, finding it can be hard. This is especially true when you are newly diagnosed with any kind of chronic illness. In fact, you may find yourself in one of the following stages of grief:
- Disbelief – You may be stuck on exactly how you even got here in the first place. You may not know what to do or how to act.
- Denial – You might find yourself thinking “maybe the doctor didn’t run enough tests.” Perhaps you are doing your own research online and coming across other clinical diagnoses that you might have instead.
- Anger – Are you irritable? Do you say things like “this isn’t fair?” You may even find yourself resenting the healthy people in your life, including your friends and family.
- Bargaining – Some people may try to make a spiritual deal, such as “if I become a better person, maybe I can get rid of this disease.”
- Guilt – You may think that your chronic pain is the result of some terrible deed from your past. You may feel guilty for putting your family through hardship during your ordeal, or even that your diagnosis was not something worse.
- Depression – The term depression doesn’t necessarily mean clinical depression. You may find yourself feeling low, sad or easily brought to tears. You may feel hopeless.
- Acceptance – Eventually, it all comes together. You can’t change your diagnosis, so now it's time to learn what you can do about it.
Keep in mind all of these stages do not happen for everyone, and they don’t always fall in this order. Just remember, all of this is perfectly natural. Getting to the acceptance stage takes time and patience. Everyone deals with this kind of news differently, so there is really no timeline for finding peace with your diagnosis. Still, you may be wondering what you can do to speed the process along. Here are a few ideas:
Do Some Research
Learn everything you can about your diagnosis. Read guides, do some online research, talk to your doctor and check out some books. Understanding your chronic pain disorder is the first step in learning to live with it.
Becoming aware of up-to-date information can greatly improve the outcomes of your medical care. If you understand your diagnosis, your doctor can spend more of your valuable time together helping come to problem-solving solutions with you rather than explaining all of the little details. Plus, you can decide if you want to try certain treatments or not, based on what you know of them. Having medical knowledge about your diagnosis is a win-win situation for you and your healthcare provider.
Join a Community
You are not the only one out there with a diagnosis of chronic pain. There are a number of support sites available online, and there may even be some in your immediate area. Read and post to the Chronic Pain Forum right here at About.com.
Your peers are one of the best resources out there. They can give you advice on treatments they have tried, complementary therapies that have worked for them and other strategies for getting through this difficult time. (Of course, be sure to speak with your doctor before making any changes to your treatment plan.) Sometimes just talking to someone who understands exactly what you are going through can make a difference.
Set Some Goals
Your life doesn’t stop because you have chronic pain. You may continue working, going to school or living life much as you did before. However, some conditions do require a bit of a lifestyle change. You may have new medications, new exercise regimes or new treatments on the horizon. In light of all of these new things, now is the time to think about what you want to change.
Maybe you want to walk a mile a day. Maybe you want to transition to part-time work. Maybe you want to be more spiritual. Whatever the case, think about what is realistic for you and your situation, and make a list of things you need to do in order to get there. If you are not sure how to set a realistic goal for yourself, this is a great place to start.
Find a Happy Place
It may sound trite, but remember that chronic pain is not the end of your life. While you may have to make some major lifestyle changes, you can (and should) continue to do things you enjoy. Find something you can do that makes you feel good.
Now is a good time to look into a new hobby, or into making changes to an existing one. Perhaps you are worried you won’t be able to continue working in your garden. How about making some simple changes to make it easier on your body, such as raised plant beds? If you can’t make changes to your favorite things, try something new. Ask other people with your condition what makes them feel better and what is easy for them to do.
Don't forget about the simple pleasures, such as watching movies, reading a book or having lunch with your friends. They help, too.
Reaching the acceptance stage after being diagnosed with chronic pain is by no means easy, but following this advice may help you get there a little more quickly.
Sources:
American Chronic Pain Association. Ten Steps from Patient to Person. 2004. Accessed March 30, 2009.
Gerber, Ben S and Eiser, Arnold R. The Patient-Physician Relationship in the Internet Age: Future Prospects and the Research Agenda. Journal of Medical Internet Research. 2001. 3(2):e15
National Pain Foundation. Tips for Dealing With Your Pain. Accessed March 30, 2009.
